


Just Walk Your Fine Ass Out the Door

by masked



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Canon Compliant, Castiel-centric (Supernatural), Coda, Episode: s15e03 The Rupture, Episode: s15e05 Proverbs 17:3, M/M, lizzo voice: WOO child tired of the bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-18
Updated: 2019-11-18
Packaged: 2021-02-08 10:04:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21474226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masked/pseuds/masked
Summary: True to his words, Castiel tries to move on.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 71





	Just Walk Your Fine Ass Out the Door

Castiel walks.

He walks up the metal stairs that echo underneath his feet, and he walks out the heavy metal door that shuts behind him with a final creak. Briefly—so briefly that it’s but a fleeting thought that passes between his breaths—he considers stopping. He considers, for a brief heart-stopping moment, just to see if he could hear footsteps chasing after him.

He considers it, but it would be cruel of him to. It doesn’t matter now.

So he keeps walking, away, away, until he’s far enough so that he won’t be able to find out either way. Far enough that he won’t be able to betray himself for what he knows to be blind hope. He doesn’t know which direction he walks in except _away_, and that alone is enough to keep him going until he finds himself walking underneath the stars that pepper the dark.

And still he walks throughout the night, until sunlight spills over the horizon and paints the miles before him. He loses time in his state, unaware of everything around him except for the echo of his own words in his mind. _Move on_, he had said. _Move on_, he tells himself now, as he walks away, away from a place he once thought home.

By the time he comes back into his own head, he’s walking along a river by a trail. With no particular purpose in mind, he follows it and keeps it company on its way, for surely this river knows where it’s headed better than he does for himself.

Eventually, he finds himself at a lake.

The water laps against its rocky shoreline as loons call for each other in the distance. Castiel watches the clouds overhead that have sucked in all the colour of the sunset as they lazily float away. He sits and leans against a tree that looks over the lake.

It would be fine if he stays here forever. Without moving, until his limbs and body and heart solidified into stone. It wouldn’t matter in any way, if he did. This place had existed for eons without his presence, and there’s a sense of comfort in knowing that his presence won’t make a difference, either.

Dean is fine without him, too. It is only him who needs to move on, now.

A faint continuous buzzing in his pocket rips him away from these thoughts, and for one hope-filled second, he thinks it’s Dean. It’s traitorous against his own will to think it, but the heart wants what it wants.

It is with the all-too familiar twist of disappointment that he sees Sam’s name on his phone screen. It’s unfair of him to be like this towards Sam, he knows—Sam has been considered no less family than Dean has been for him.

His family.

Castiel squeezes his eyes shut against the way his breaths catch in his throat like every part of him is trying to suffocate him. The phone continues to buzz incessantly in his hand.

Jack is gone, and so is Dean, and now he sits beside this lake as he pushes away the one other person left on this planet that gives a damn about him at all. It’s mortifying to realize that even now, as he sits here with his teeth clenched, he’s already thinking of how long it might take him to get back to Sam, to Dean, if he started walking back now, if they might take him back, if they could just forgive each other and go back to the way they used to be.

Castiel takes a deep breath. The phone stops buzzing, and a new message pops up to tell him that he has a voice mail. What if they’re hurt? What if they need him? What if this is his last chance?

Castiel doesn’t listen to it.

Instead, he stands, and fights against the impulse to throw the phone into the water. He should keep it. Just in case, he reasons. There’s never been a real use for it except to use as a vessel to reach his loved ones so there’s no real use for it now, but maybe, maybe one day.

He stuffs his phone back into his pocket and stands, and gives the lake one last look before he starts walking again.

It’s time for him to move on.


End file.
